Say
by littlealicewannabe
Summary: Now everyone knows about Melinda. It's summer and everyone knows her secret. What will it lead to? David Petrakis? Art classes up at the U? Or maybe everything will stay the same. But the glares continue to mock her. What will Melinda end up choosing?
1. Chapter 1: Small Fry

**Say**

**Chapter 1-Small Fry**

**Today was the first day of the summer and the first day of my free life. The all too bright sun burned through my curtains. I woke up that morning as if it never happened. Yesterday **_**everyone **_**found out about…the rape. The only thing I could do now was move on and accept it. My room had always suited me, childish and purple. My friends and family desperately attempted to persuade me into something more my age, but I refused. My parents didn't need to spend money on me. Lately we barely had enough to get by. That was why I was waking up so early. To attend to my new job. A job at a fast food joint was never where I planned to be, but if it was going to help my family I'd do it. **

**I reached into my closet and grabbed out the uniform that was mandatory to wear. Black pants with a white shirt and lets not forget the gray tie. I didn't mind wearing dorky attire I'd worn worse, especially after…the rape. I quickly got dressed and went downstairs. My father's last job interview didn't go so well, so he's started looking for jobs online. Mom always had her same job, nothing changed with her. **

**Me: Bye dad!**

**Dad: What's the rush?**

**Me: [starts tapping foot] Well, I have a job now. **

**Dad: David called.**

**My hand went to my pocket. My interview yesterday had cost me a conversation with David. I truly had forgotten I gave David my number. A lot of things happened that day.**

**Me: [trying to look serious] What did he say? **

**Dad: He said you had to call him back. **

**Me: Did he leave a number?**

**Dad: [reluctantly] It's on the counter. **

**Me: Okay, if he calls back tell him I get off work at two. Bye dad.**

**Dad: Bye, and you know that you can talk to me right? Princess.**

**I could tell he wanted to talk to me more but I couldn't be late. I got on my old, yellow and rusted bike. Another thing that didn't bother me. I'd be able to drive soon, so I wouldn't even need a bike. I got in the big blue doors in the nick of time. I didn't know what to think of my boss, I'd only talked to a cashier. I hoped the manager would understand if I were to be late.**

**Boss: You're late.**

**I hate him already! He speaks with half a lisp and his wrinkles definitely indicate he is too old to work at a fast food restaurant. I hated his over grown mustache and his outfit, he wore tight blue shorts that went down to his knees and a maroon shirt. He also wore a whistle, who wears whistles around their necks? But, no doubt the worst thing about him was the little clipboard he carried around with him. He'd carefully pull out a pen in the middle of a conversation and then he'd start writing, as if you'd just been added to a death row list.**

**Me: No I'm not, I still have two minutes before it's 8:00.**

**Boss: All employees must be at work ten minutes early. All violators will be punished with restroom duty. If you have any questions ask Stan. **

**I was handed a plunger, a box of heavily used cleaning supplies and a surgical mask that Stan had said I'd be a fool to not wear. I walked into the Men's room first, hoping to get the worst over with first. The bathroom seemed to be covered with three types of grime, I suspected the first two were not known to man and the third layer had been accumulating for so long I think that I scraped off some of the stained tile before I got all the grime off. **

**As I got to the stalls I pleaded to god, or anyone who was listening, to kill me now, but to make sure that my parents got my paycheck first. I did need the surgical mask, sadly I think I needed a whole disinfected suit, but I finished the bathroom in good time. Well, good time to me. The Women's room was definitely easier to clean, all I had to do was wipe down the mirrors and mop the floor. Gladly, when I was young I learned how to do most things around the house, cooking, cleaning and laundry so I was prepared with soap and water. **

**Boss: What took you so long?**

**Me: I cleaned the restrooms.**

**Boss: It's nearly noon. Go take out the trash! **

**My hands tightened into fists and I knew what I was capable of, but I just turned away to find the nearest disposal area. I didn't have to see it to know that he had a huge smile on. Who knew how much garbage collected between this morning and this afternoon? This wasn't even a popular place, I mean it wasn't even close to being a McDonalds or Burger King, it was just a small business. Small Fry. It's name didn't even suit what it sold, I bet we barely made any money off fries, but of course I've never eaten here. A few years ago this place was even threatened to be closed down, for not meeting health inspector standards. **

**As I walked out to the half filled parking lot that couldn't help but smell like it had been smothered in grease, I noticed another employee was taking his break. I couldn't tell who it was partly because I could only see his legs, partly because he was smoking. I never knew anyone who smoked, that was my age. I crept up to the large garbage can he was leaning against, with some hope that I'd know him. I took a few steps so I was just around the corner from him. I peeked over. He was staring right at me. I quickly jumped back to my safe area where I couldn't be seen. My back was to the metal bin now. My logical side told me that this was foolish, just throw the bags of trash over his head and get back to work before you get fired! Another part of me, which I'd never felt before said to go right up to him and start a conversation. In the end I didn't know who won. **


	2. Chapter 2: False Impressions

Chapter 2-False Impressions

Me: I have to throw this away.

Cool Garbage Boy: I can do that.

I handed him the garbage bags I felt safe hiding behind. He grabbed them, lifted the bags over my head and tossed them into the bin in one swift movement. For a minute I couldn't move. The sunglasses he wore kept me at a standstill, along with the leather jacket he had on.

Cool Garbage Boy: Well…?

Me: Don't you work here?

Cool Garbage Boy: Yeah, why?

Me: What do you do? Like, cashier, bathroom attendant, janitor.

Cool Garbage boy: I make the food.

Me: Oh.

Cool Garbage Boy: I'd better get back to work or I'll get fired again.

Me: Again?

Cool Garbage Boy: Again.

I remained silent until we entered the dreadful building. He was walking in front of me and I couldn't help it that I stared, so I didn't try not to. He took his sunglasses off when we got inside and I could finally see his eyes. They were different then any other pair of eyes I've ever seen. They were a deep shade of blue and they looked lie they told a story. If I had more time I could've concluded more, but then the manager came up to us and the Cool Garbage Boy paid all his attention to our boss.

Boss: You're in a violation.

Cool Garbage Boy: I don't care.

Boss: Take off the jacket and get back to work. if I was in the right state of mind I'd get a restriction order against you. Ahh, I would've expected you'd meet Cole sometime soon. Now get this in your thick heads, if you do anything as much as bend a fry I'll…

Cole walked away and I quickly followed him back to the fryers. I'd never seen the back of a Small Fry and it certainly wasn't what I expected. In one corner of the room there was a two hundred degree stove and in another corner there was frozen meat. Being as small as this building was it was cramped enough without the twelve employees and half-cooked food, but with me, not even having the smallest idea what I should intervene in or what I should stay clear of I stood as still as I could.

Cole: What are you doing?

Me:

Cole: Go outside and clean the tables.

I silently walked out to the back where all the tables were. No one ate out here so I didn't know why Cole told me to go out here, unless he wanted to get rid of me. At least I knew his name. Cole. I'd never met a Cole before. I remember hearing the name on TV, but that's different. I took a seat on the cold bench and couldn't help but remember his eyes. Then, I could hear music in the background. From the CD store across the street.

_Let it goLet it roll right off your shoulderDon't you knowThe hardest part is overLet it inLet your clarity define you In the endYou will only just remember how it feelsOur lives are madeIn these small hours These little wondersThese twists and turns of fate Time falls away,But these small hoursThese small hours Still remainLet it slideLet your troubles fall behind youLet it shine,Till you feel it all around youAnd I don't mind If it's me you need to turn to We'll get byIt's the heart that really matters in the endOur lives are madeIn these small hours These little wondersThese twists and turns of fate Time falls awayBut these small hoursThese small hoursStill remainAll of my regretWill wash away somehowBut I cannot forgetthe way I feel right nowIn these small hoursThese little wonders These twists and turns of fateYeah, these twisted turns of fateTime falls awayYeah, but these small hours, These small hoursStill remainYeah, oh they still remainThese little wondersAll these twists and turns of fateTime falls away But these small hours These little wondersStill remain_

Little Wonders-Rob Thomas

I remembered this song, it came out years ago, but I'd never listened to the whole song. As I listen to the lyrics I recognize a similarity to my life, but that was before. The past. I've moved on, I told people and everyone knows. The sun indicated that it was just about three o'clock so I went inside. The people for the next shift came in and the only one still here from my shift was Cole. I went up to him.

Me: Cole I jus-

Cole: Ok, look, obviously you're new here. I understand that, but your going to have to learn how to actually learn how to work. I'm sorry but I can't be the one to teach you.

Me: What?

He put his glasses on, grabbed a cigarette and drove away in his old truck. What. Just. Happened? I untucked my shirt and walked down the street in confusion. What was he talking about? Was he saying that he won't help me anymore? Maybe he was just implying that I'd better get a grip of myself. I couldn't think about it and soon I'd be too busy to think about it. I still had to call David back.

Dad: Thank god you're home!

Me: Hi dad.

The phone rang.

Dad: Not again! Mel, you're going to run this phone bill through the roof! People have been calling for you all day and-hello? She's not here right now, you can call back later. Goodbye.

Me: Really? People have been calling all day? For me?

Dad: Yes. Here, before it rings again.

He then handed me a cordless phone and five post-it notes. I looked through the names, they were all from kids I barely knew, my ex-friends and another call from David. I'd have to call David last, assuming that his call would take the longest. I randomly picked a name-Hannah Ruth-I dialed the number and waited for her to pick up. It took exactly half a ring.

Hannah: Hello?

Me: Hannah?

Hannah: Melinda! OMG I heard about what happened and just so you know, I'm here for you, I just dumped Gabe for trying to kiss me when I didn't want to and I completely understand your pain.

I was completely stunned, had all the people who called just wanted to make me feel better or maybe they just wanted me to forgive them for picking on me. Either way I wasn't that happy. The real time that I needed these calls of companionship was the last day of eighth grade. It was now that I realized when it happened, it was exactly a year ago when I came stumbling through the doors of my house and went to bed in my clothes and askew make-up. Yesterday was the anniversary of the incident. I couldn't think about it anymore, I said bye to Hannah and took a seat on my bed. When did I get in my room? If I didn't stop this now I'd probably have more then I could handle for the whole summer so I called each and every person, except David, and went through the same debate each and every time.

Me: Hello? This is Melinda, I'd like to say thank you for calling and I appreciate your time, but now I have other things to do, I have a job and I can't exactly run up the phone bill so I'd be very thankful if you could not call me again. Okay?

Just About Everyone Who Answered The Phone: Okay, bye, but if you ever need anyone to talk to about this, call me.

Now I had to call David, I noticed that it was just about six o'clock. Had I been on the phone for two and a half hours? Oh well. It needed to be done. I dialed the number and waited for David to answer. The phone rang three times then I heard his voice.

David: Melinda!

Me: Hi David.

David: I just found out, are you okay? If you want I can come over.

Me: David, I'm fine. Remember all this happened over a year ago.

David: Oh, sorry. Well, if you'd like I could still come over.

Me: Well, I'm going to be eating supper soon so maybe tomorrow, after I get off work?

David: Sure. I'll pick you up tomorrow. We can get something to eat. Bye Mel.

I hung up the phone. Wow. I couldn't remember what was for supper, but I remember I didn't eat. My mother got home when dad was doing the dishes. I ended up putting leftovers away.

Dad: What did David want?

Me: He just wanted to see how I was doing.

Mom: David? Who's David?

Me: David's a friend from school and he's going to pick me up from work tomorrow.

Dad: David can drive?

Me: Apparently.

The conversation ended abruptly and I was happy for that. For once our family ended up watching TV together. It was some type of reality show where celebrities are lost on some island without food or water. Well, something like that. It was only after the televised event was done that I figured out it was a movie. Now it was nine o'clock and despite the fact that I was not tired I went up to my room and changed into pajamas. I ended up getting started on the summer booklist. We were assigned to read twelve books of our choice, but each of the books had to be over two hundred pages and we'd have to finish a series over the summer. I looked through my books, sadly, the only reading material I had was children books from when I was little and a few art books that barely reached fifty pages. Maybe I could ask David to drop me off at the library. The library wasn't that far from my house, only twenty minutes of walking…

I grabbed a pen and a paper and got to work, lately I've been drawing before I fall asleep. Yesterday I started to draw the outdoors, things in general, like ponds and grassy hills. I liked it, especially when I could add trees in the background. Before I knew it I had finished a whole picture, I admired this one, I had done it with basic shading from an ordinary pencil. I taped it to my wall and admired it until I faded into unconsciousness.

When I woke up I could tell that I'd only slept a few hours, but that was fine with me, besides I didn't want to be late for work. Maybe I should just quit my job. Cole had basically told me to never ask him anything again and the pay was lousy, but I suppose it's still pay. I was dressed and ready by 6:00 I bet I wouldn't get yelled at for not being at work on time if I were an hour early. When I got to Small Fry there was one car in the parking lot. It was the truck. His truck. Cole. The truck almost pitch black has no passengers. I looked around for Cole. I couldn't see him, I walked to the large garbage bin, he wasn't there either. Then I could see a familiar puff of smoke just around the building. I dropped the bad of clothes I packed for after work and decided to talk to him.

Me: Cole?

Cole: Melinda.

Me: How do you know my name?

Cole: Who doesn't know your name?

Me: What are you doing here? It must be about 6:30.

Cole: What are _you_ doing here?

Me: I got tired of being yelled at for being late.

Cole: Hmm.

Me: You haven't answered my question.

Cole: Sometimes I just have to escape.

I knew exactly how he felt. Last year I even had to ditch school because it was just too hard. Oddly, he sounded mellow and he seemed like he forgave me for whatever I did yesterday. I smiled at him, even though it was still pretty dark out, so he probably couldn't see me. He faced me completely and rapidly began to talk.

Cole: If he yells at you just ignore him and when he goes onto threats just walk away, but if he starts to get physical you'd better tune in.

I couldn't tell if he was talking about our boss or someone else.

Cole: When I was little my parents were nice, they'd do what was best for me. I'd get to have friends over and I'd have birthday parties and we'd celebrate Christmas.

Me: What are you saying Cole?

Cole: When Cynthia moved out it started. The hits and the scratches began. When Shay moved out it got worse. The belt and the cage started. I don't think I can do it anymore.

Me: Cole, you have to tell someone, the cops or a doctor. I'm so sorry.

Cole: We moved into a smaller house, Daniel never was into hard work or getting a job. Mom died when I was four, she was raped then, beaten to death. Cynthia was what Daniel found when mom died. Cynthia worked at a Hooters before, but when she left her small paychecks did too. Shay. Shay was the best sister, she'd take care of me and clean my wounds from when Daniel got mad. She left a few years ago. I've been working here to save up my money to get away, maybe move into a crappy hotel or maybe I'd be able to pay for a really small house. I have to get away.

I thought about Cole's mother, I was lucky.

Me: Daniel is your father isn't he?

Cole: Yes.

I sat with Cole until the sun came up, but when it did the sun revealed Cole, he had a black eye and he was cut. I tried not to stare, but apparently I didn't hide my glances well enough. His arms were cut everywhere, they looked like they came from something sharp, like the keen edge of a jagged piece of glass. I believed him, about his father doing that to him, I knew how it felt to have someone not believe you. It felt horrible, except unlike me, he had to get hurt everyday. I'd only had to deal with that one night.

Boss: Get to work!

I completely ignored his instructions and when Cole and I stood up I couldn't help myself, so I caught him in a full strong hug. If only somebody did that for me. Then, something unexplainable happened. He picked me up and set me on a nearby table. His eyes looked almost, happy, the first time I saw any emotion other then hate. Then, gently and quickly he placed his lips on mine. It was fast and tender. He leaned up with an expression saying did-I-hurt-you?

I looked up to him and I could see he wasn't hurting now. He was almost smiling. I didn't want to see the look on his face leave. He didn't just look happy. He was happy. This moment was different, the previous time I was kissed I felt fear, this time I was happy and I enjoyed it. I didn't know I'd done it until our boss came back outside.

Boss: Break it up and get to work!

Cole was smiling and it wasn't a glad-to-see-you smile, it was an I'm-so-happy-I'll-burst smile. The odd thing was, I was smiling too. I didn't even remember bringing in my extra clothes.

**(Author note- I'd just like to say that I might post a few songs I listen to when I write, Little Wonders By Rob Thomas being one of them. Thanx for reading. Replies/reviews are always welcomed. Oh, and There'll definitely be more David in the next chapter. Thanx again…peace/\love\/see ya**


	3. Chapter 3: Date with David

Chapter 3-Date With David

When I came to my senses I couldn't believe what I did. I'd known Cole for what was it? Twenty-four hours! I didn't do it because I wanted to, I only did it to make him feel better. I only did it to make him feel better. On the other hand, it was only a kiss. Two kisses. It wasn't even worth it, well, it almost wasn't worth it. What will David think? He'll be here soon, my shift ends in five minutes and then he'll be here. It's not a big deal! I shouldn't even bother him with it. He's probably too busy studying before he goes to intern at his uncles lab. Why can't I just tell him! It doesn't even matter.

David: Melinda?

Me:

David: Are you ready to go?

Me: Yeah.

David: Okay, well I'll wait for you outside.

I escaped to the backroom where everyone was supposed to put their things during the day, I only wished that this place had enough money to buy some lockers. Then we wouldn't have to spread out all our stuff on a plain table. I saw car keys, shoes, a basketball, a can of spray cheese and my clothes. I saw nobody coming so instead of going into the bathrooms, which had probably already become toxic by now, I quickly took off my uniform. I put on the denim shorts I packed and I struggled to find the tank top I packed. Where was it? Did I drop it? Oh God! I heard someone coming closer on the faded and oddly loud tile. I can't find it! Someone's coming! I'll just wear my uniform shirt. Where's my uniform top? Aah! As the steps grew closer I couldn't find any clothing to wear. So I improvised.

Cole: Melinda? Are you in here? Mel-

He started laughing. I knew I looked ridiculous, but there was only one option left. I looked at myself in the cracked mirror across the small room. I looked even worse then I thought. Now with a hole un the bottom of the plastic bag I was ready to go to a catwalk. I wished that I chose a paper bag because as I looked into the mirror I noticed that plastic was see through. I crossed my arms across my chest as Cole got a grip of himself.

Cole: Sorry.

Me:

Cole: I found this outside.

He handed me my tank top, I accepted it with one hand trying to hold the bag up. He chuckled to himself and turned around automatically. Like he knew I would glare at him all day if he looked at me like that again.

I put on the tank top fast and I found my uniform top under the table. How did it get there? I wrapped up the clothes I wasn't wearing in the remains of the bag and redid the ponytail I had.

Cole: Can I look now?

Me: Yes, but I'm leaving.

Cole: Where are you going?

Me: Somewhere.

I truthfully didn't know where we were going, but if it was with David it'd be fine wherever we went. Cole lingered in the room until I left and I didn't mind. I didn't mind that he kissed me, I didn't mind that I kissed him back, oddly I don't think I minded him seeing me in the storage room.

David: Are you ready?

Me: Yeah. Where are we going?

David: Melinda…I'm only fifteen.

Me: Okay, well, I'm fifteen too.

David: I can only drive with an adult in the passenger seat. I have my permit, just not my license, but I'm going to get my actual license in August, hopefully on my sixteenth birthday.

Me: Oh, so who's the adult that's going with us?

David: My mom. I don't have any older siblings and my cousin is on a trip to Europe. Sorry.

Me: Don't be sorry David, it's okay. Besides your parents need to get to know me. From what they've probably heard I'd better introduce myself as soon as possible.

David: Right.

David stopped in front of a shiny new jeep. The black interior that almost glistened indicated that he'd just bought it. Who knew a jeep could look so fancy? I saw the passenger door open and two legs come out. Then, a body. It was David's mom. She had dark, brown, and long hair. She wasn't very tall but she was taller then David. She had a smile on her face and I could tell it was a fake.

David's Mom: Melinda! Hello darling! How are you?

Me: I'm fine. Hi Mrs. Petrakis.

David's Mom: So where are we going David?

David: Well, I was thinking that Melinda and I would just go to my house for a while then we'd go to dinner.

David's Mom: Great!

Me: David?

David: Yeah?

Me: I was wondering if afterwards we could go to the library, I wanted to start my summer reading list early, but I didn't have any of the books so I have to go to the library.

David: Sure, that's on the way to my house anyway.

David's Mom:

Me: Thanks.

I sat in the backseat as silence filled the vehicle. I twiddled my thumbs, hoping that someone would bring up a conversation. I looked out the window and saw trees, nothing but trees. Lately the town mayor has been on this rave about stopping global warming and planting more trees to make more oxygen. That meant that I'd have new subjects to observe.

David's Mom: So, Melinda, what do you think about all the new trees?

Me: Well, Mrs. Petrakis, I think it will be good for our environment.

David's Mom: You can call me Cindy dear, and I think it will be nice to have some scenery around here. I also heard that they are going to build a hotel somewhere in town.

Me: Hmm.

A few minutes passed before we got to the library. Cindy decided that she'd wait in the car while David and I picked out a few books. I had no idea what to get. It was like sending me into a clothes store. I'll just end up picking the worst. I noticed that David had already found a few novels. I picked a shelf and started looking.

David: Can't find anything?

Me: Not really.

David: If you haven't read these, they're a good series.

David handed me seven books, each seemed to grow heavier and bigger. I looked down at the title of the last book. _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows _I read the first book of the series when I was in the third grade, but it wouldn't hurt to reread it. I smiled at him. At least when I was done with the series I'd be over halfway through the list.

Me: I think we should go now.

David: Right, yeah. Want me to carry those books?

Me: No, I've got them.

Once we were in the car everything went silent again. I didn't mind silence, I enjoyed it, but I might as well strike a conversation.

Me: So, David, what have you been up to lately?

David: Well, usually studying, for my uncles lab, I'm planning to go there in July. A few residents are willing to talk to a few people that are currently studying medicine about what it's like to be a doctor. We might get to ask questions too.

Me: Oh.

When we got there I was stunned by David's house. It was huge! It had three stories and I could see an in ground pool. It wasn't the type of house that had maids and butlers, but it was definitely way better then my small one story house. David got out and opened the door for me while Cindy moved to the drivers seat.

Cindy: I'm going to run a few errands. I'll be back in a few hours.

David: Bye mom.

David gave me a quick tour of his house and we went to his room. He had a bunk bed, the top was a bed and the bottom was a couch. He also had a flat screen TV, a fancy computer and I could see a doctor coat hanging on his chair.

Me: So, you really want to be a doctor?

David: More then you know. So, how's the art thing going?

Me: Well, it's pretty good. I got a few new pencils last week.

David: Cool.

Me: So what do you want to do?

David: Well, we could watch a movie or we could play pool, we just bought a new pool table or we could ride the four wheelers.

Me: You can choose.

David: Okay, what movie do you want to watch?

Me: You can choose.

David: Okay.

I never paid enough attention to the movie to figure out what it was. Just being with David was enough. We sat next to each other and shared a box of popcorn. Just like any other normal date. When the movie was over David took me out to the backyard. Instantly I was mystified. I could see tons of miracles. There were birches and oaks and maples, spruces and fir and pine. They were all arranged beautifully surrounded by round hills and soft grass.

David: Melinda? Are you okay?

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. It was beautiful, it was like all my drawings put together. I couldn't help but to hug David. I heard the jeep come rolling in and the horn beeped.

David: We should go. Don't worry Melinda, you can come back whenever you want.

Me: Okay. So, now where are we going?

David: To a restaurant, I hope.

I smiled. I was sad to leave the scene, but I knew I'd be back. When I got in the fancy jeep I could hear a cheery song. I enjoyed it.

_**You could be happy and I won't knowBut you weren't happy the day I watched you all the things that I wish I had not said,Are played in loops till it's madness in my it too late to remind you how we were?But not our last days of silent screaming of what I remember makes me sureI should've stopped you from walking out the could be happy I hope you areYou made me happier than I'd been by farSomehow everything I own, smells of youand for the tiniest moment it's all not the things that you always wanted toWithout me there to hold you back, don't think just doMore than anything I want to see you girlTake a glorious bite out of the whole world**_

**You Could Be Happy-Snow Patrol**

Gladly we didn't go to a big fancy restaurant, I was only wearing denim shorts and a black tank top. We went to a Perkins, which I haven't been to in over three years, even Perkins was to expensive for us. This time Cindy came in with us. I didn't mind her that much, but I did wish she didn't ask me so many questions, what my middle name was, how old I am, did I have any pets, and of course, if David and I were officially together.

I answered all the questions with less then five words as I ate my small bowl of soup. David explained a few of my answers and he was definitely trying to take the attention off me. I hated being the main target at anything, in our 2nd grade pageant I would be a bush or rock because I wouldn't speak. David's mom went to pay the check.

David: Don't worry, next time we can just hang around my house or if you want we could go to your house.

I almost laughed. My house. Disorganized, small, trashy, filled with yelling arguments and of course my drawings. On the last day of school I decided to do something simple, just hang up one picture, where everyone would see it. I chose one that I did during the winter, it was of a pine tree covered on fresh snow. Then, dad asked me to put up another. So I did. Then there just had to be one more. Before I knew it there were pictures everywhere.

Cindy: Ready to go kids?

**(Okay, this was the next chapter. Hope you laughed…I'd even settle for a frail smirk, but I wrote this pretty fast and it was a long time ago, so I might not have another chapter for a while…anyway…peace/\love\/see ya **


	4. Chapter 4: David who?

Chapter 4- David who?

That night all I could think about was the date. It wasn't my ideal dream date, but it was pretty cool to finally have a chance to relax, well, I relaxed when Cindy wasn't staring me down. I was stretched out on my bed, staring at my faded dark white ceiling, which was covered in pictures just like my walls, desktop and floor. I heard a knock on my door.

Mom: Melinda? Can I come in?

Me: Yeah.

Mom: [gazing at all the drawings] I see you've hung up more pictures.

Me: [nodding] Yeah.

Mom: [sits on bed] Look, sweetie, I know you're dealing with this situation well and I know it's been a year, but you know that if you need to talk you just have to tell me or your father, right?

Me: Yeah, I know.

Mom: I was thinking, your father was too, and we think it would be a nice idea for me to take you shopping tomorrow. It'll be like a shopping spree.

Me: Um, okay.

Mom: I know I haven't really been there for you in the past, but I intend to change that.

Me: [I tried to fake a smile] No, mom, it'll be great. I'm just wondering if we have enough money.

Mom: Don't you worry about things like that! We'll make it through this, besides I've been saving up for things like this.

Me: Okay, so, I guess tomorrow, after work?

Mom: Yes. Well, it's late I should let you sleep.

As the door closed I couldn't help but fear tomorrow, I hated shopping of all kinds. I wasn't picky at all, but just the thought of going through piles and piles of machine made cloth makes me doze off. I suppose I need some new clothes anyway, I think I still wear some shirts from the sixth grade. I should get my mind off this, maybe I should read. Where did I put the books from the library? I searched under my bed and on my desk, couldn't find it. Searched the closet…for whatever reason it might be there. Nope. I crept downstairs, it wasn't there. Great, I left them at his house. At least I remembered my clothes. Those were up in my room. I'd have to get the books the next time I went to David's house. I'd need all the sleep I could get if I was going to go shopping tomorrow. It's a fact that I fell asleep right in the middle of the underwear aisle when I went shopping with mom when I was younger.

I didn't draw that night, firstly, because I wanted my next drawing to be from David's yard, secondly, my mind kept straying to other things, I soon fell asleep.

Mom: Hurry up, we're going to be late!

Me: I'm pretty sure that the clothes places will still be open in ten minutes.

Mom: Ugh!

I took my time getting dressed and walking downstairs. I think I wanted to go to work instead today. Mom pulled me to the car and I barely had enough time to ask her where we were going.

Mom: I was thinking that we could start at one end of the mall and go from there.

Me: Exactly where is the 'one end' that we're starting at?

Mom: Pearson's Optical.

Me: Mom I don't need new glasses.

Mom: We'll just look.

When we got to the store I lagged behind and tried to be like an average teenager. Mom barely seemed phased. In the end she got a new pair of glasses and I got another glasses cleaning kit, I barely even wore glasses, I only needed them to read. We passed the Pizza place and mom took me into another building. I didn't have time to read the sign. We went up the stairs and stopped at the top floor.

Me: Where are we going?

Mom: You'll see.

We went to the last door on the right and I still didn't have time to read what it said. I sat in a chair, this place was set up like a hospital, there was a desk on the north side and chairs set up in rows. Mom spoke softly so I couldn't hear. I looked at the walls, there were pictures of flowers, they weren't that good either, some of them didn't even look like flowers. Why try to make a miserable place any better? It will still be miserable.

Then, a man in some form of a suit came out of a door and called my name. I looked at him in disbelief. He called me once again, this time Mom signaled for me to go with him as she talked to the person behind the desk. I was lead into the furthest door. I read the names on the other door first, Dianne Button-Physiologist, then I read the door that I was about to go in. Andrew Kaman-Psychologist. I was seeing a shrink!

Andrew Kaman: Melinda?

Me:

Andrew Kaman: Melinda!

Me: [turns head slowly] What?

Andrew Kaman: I don't want you to think of me like a shrink, I'm just a normal person and this is supposed to help you.

Yeah right, he's a shrink that gets paid millions of dollars a year for listening to helpless victims drone on and on about their idiotic problems and they only have to 'hmmm' and 'very good' every once in a while. But the worst part was, his name was Andrew.

Andrew Kaman: Melinda, this isn't a punishment. I have plenty of fun things around here.

Me: [scoff]

Andrew Kaman: I have games, if you're interested, Monopoly, trouble, trivia.

Me: [lower lip firms]

Andrew Kaman: Melinda, it's a shame how much money you're wasting.

Me: [looks up]

Andrew Kaman: How much do you think therapy costs? We have two hours.

Me: I don't need therapy! Mom just feels guilty that she had no idea what was happening! Now she's on this 'being a good mother' phase!

Andrew Kaman: [takes my hand] Melinda, I am so sorry.

Me: [takes hand away] I don't need your fake sympathy.

Andrew Kaman: Fine [face expression changes to serious] you're smart for a child, but one of these days you're going to have to tell someone.

Me: I already did tell someone! If you haven't noticed the whole town knows now!

Andrew Kaman: The whole town knows what?

Me: As if you didn't know.

A silence filled the room. Not just a silence, it was one of the worst silences ever. I was staring out the window at the back of a billboard and Andrew was staring right at me. I didn't know how much time had passed and the only clock in the room was right above Andrew's head. I crossed my arms across my chest.

He shoved a piece of paper at me. I glared at him.

Andrew Kaman: Draw.

Me:

Andrew Kaman: Draw, or else I'll tell that pretty little assistant you saw in the main room that you need medical help.

He was bluffing, I could tell.

He stood up and started to walk towards the door. Ever step he took I concocted ideas of what they might do to me at a hospital, a hospital meant for nutcases. I grabbed the paper and I tried to sound as sinister as possible.

Me: Can I have a pen?

I drew something simple. Just a bouquet of flowers. I tried to make it bad, I didn't fade the vase and the flowers were mostly scribbled. I gave him the picture and looked back out the window.

Andrew Kaman: This is good. I think our two hours are up.

He lied to me, I wasn't supposed to be there for two hours. We'd only been here for a little over one hour, I'm sure. I could tell this wasn't going to be fun. He let me out the door and I ignored him when he was waving goodbye.

Next stop-clothing businesses. My mother had basically put a ton of clothes in a cart and rushed trough the cash register. She knew how to deal with me. The day encroached on me. It was slowly getting darker and the family vehicle was getting more flooded by the minute. By the time we got home I was so tired I could've collapsed right on the couch and been out for days.

Dad: Melinda?

Me: Ugh.

Dad: You have a visitor.

Me: [snaps head up] Who?

Dad: A boy. He said you worked together. I told him to go up to your room.

Cole? Was it Cole? Could it be Cole? I ran up to my room. My feet stopped at the door. What do I do now? Should I knock? Maybe I should just go in. Why should I have to knock? You only knock when someone's doing something private and what would he be doing privately in my room? Never mind. Do I say something? How long had he been here? Then, suddenly, the door flew open.

Cole: Melinda!

I was whisked into my room. Cole looked afraid. His eyes tried to focus, but he was trying to look at one thing, to calm him. I put my hands on his shoulders and tried to shake him into reality.

Me: Cole! Cole, are you okay?

His eye twitched, but he stopped shaking. He put his hands on my waist. I was stunned, what was he doing, but if someone were to take a picture of this instinct moment it would look somewhat like a normal couple. My hands were on his shoulders and the way we were positioned made me accusingly.

Cole: Melinda. I need you. He was there. Waiting for me. I couldn't get away. He had a rifle.

I couldn't say anything. What happened when Cole had gone home today?

Cole: Shay visited him today, she tried to save me. I was almost free. Then, he forbid her ever to see me. I'm stuck here forever!

He pulled me into a hug. This was not a side of him I was used to. His head rested on my shoulder and I could feel his tears move from his fragile eyes to my shirt. I forced him to look at me.

Me: You're going to be okay. You're going to live. We're going to settle this.

I didn't know when he and I had become a 'we' but I wasn't going to let him be alone. He needed me. For once, someone needed Melinda Sordino. There was no doubt left, through both our traumatizing experiences Cole Adams and Melinda Sordino were bonded into each others lives forever.

**(Okay, in this chapter a lot of things happened, Andrew Kaman (Kaman being a college that had been on a commercial when I was writing this) and you get to know a little more about Cole. I love this chapter! Well, the second half…peace\/love/\see ya**


	5. Chapter 5: We're going to be really late

Chapter 5- We're going to be really late for work

I had just woken up and begun to get ready for another grime filled day at work when the doorbell rang. Mom had already left for work and Dad was on the family computer, which was only a few feet from the door, but he was probably absorbed in several websites that he heard nothing. Who would be at my front door at six in the morning? I opened the door slowly.

Me: Cole? What are you doing here?

Cole: Don't you work today?

Me: Well, yeah, but…why are you here?

Cole: I was wondering if you wanted a ride? I've seen you trudging through miles of mud on your bike, then you have to hook it up to the school bike rack, across the street from Small Fry, even after that you have to cross the enormously busy highway. It would be so much easier if you grabbed a ride with me everyday.

Me:

Cole: Look, why don't you think about it while you're getting ready. I'll be waiting out here.

I closed the door. I tried to remain expressionless. Dad's eyes were glued to the computer screen and he didn't even notice that I was about to get a ride to work with a boy he didn't even know. What he didn't know couldn't hurt him. I finished getting ready and Cole was waiting by the door. I decided not to bring anything to work today, I wasn't planning on doing anything later so why strain myself? Cole: That was fast. You need to go anywhere before work?

Me: No. Why? Do we have extra time?

Cole: Yeah, I guess so. Work doesn't start for ten more minutes.

Usually, it took me half an hour to get to work, but that was on my bike. Even with the extra time we'd get from driving we'd probably be late for work. I sighed. The boss already hated me and adding another late day didn't seem to matter. He'd probably already docked my pay.

Me: Where would you go?

Cole: [shrugs] I don't know. Maybe the auto place down the road. I have a second job there.

Me: What auto place?

Cole: It's just a block away from school.

I couldn't say much at that point. It seemed uncivilized to mention that his gas gauge was blinking and I liked the station his radio was playing.

_Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it's just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you came Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God he hears you And pray to God he hears you _

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life How to save a life How to save a life Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life How to save a life _

How To Save A Life by: The Fray

After the song was over Cole pulled into a long dirt driveway. There was no sign or any recognition for any type of business. When we got twenty feet further I could see a metal pole barn and to the left of the barn there was a thirty foot electric fence. Then, I saw what the fence contained.

Me: Whoa! How come I didn't know about this place? There must be a thousand cars here.

Cole: Only five hundred thirty-one.

I got out of his truck and made my way to the fence. There were tons of cars, all different types, none were the same. I don't even think any two were the same color. There was a variety of vehicles. There were little mini coopers and I could faintly see a monster truck in the distance.

Me: Why doesn't anyone know about this place?

Cole: Well, I suppose it will come out into the world when it's ready.

I wasn't into cars all that much, but it was inspiring to see something that Cole did in his free time. I knew that I had a hard time doing everything last year.

Cole: After my mother left I was kicked out of the house for a few days. I ended up walking here. Back then this was only a large piece of land with dead grass, having only one broken down car. I lived in that car for almost a week. When I was allowed back in the house I had to visit this place on my own time. I'd come here about five times a week for years, but then the owner of the car showed up and he brought diagrams. Soon there was a building and fence. After my father had driven Cynthia away, which never was all that good of a mom anyway, he resorted to anger and violence. When he was done with me I ran here. Climbed right in to the car and slept there. When the owner found me in his latest profit he wasn't afraid or concerned. He offered me, at the age of eight, a job. I've been coming here ever since.

Me:

Cole: I just wanted to show you this because it's a huge part of my life and it helps me. My own prescription. This, for me, is like drawing for you.

Me: Cole. I really don't know what to say.

I really had no idea what to say, Cole had lived such a hard life, worse then mine, and he was revealing everything to me. Every little detail. How can I respond to that? Oh, I'm sorry my small and unimportant rape isn't as hard as your abusive father. I couldn't help him. He had too much. He was helpless.

Cole: Tell me about it.

I knew exactly what he meant, it's what almost everyone had asked. Sometimes it's better to forget then to drag up from a pit you'd worked so hard to shovel out each pile of excruciating dirt and have all your work gone in a matter of seconds. Maybe he'd understand if I played dumb.

Me: What?

Cole: Tell me about Andy Evans.

**(Whoo! What a cliff hanger! It's pretty early in the morning and I've been looking for chapters for about two hours… if you don't know I have written this whole story months ago, but I decided it couldn't hurt to post it up on so lately I've been tracking down chapters to put up. So… peace/\love/\see ya**


	6. Chapter 6: TSB and Fights

Chapter 6: T.S.B. and Fights

At first I couldn't respond. Most people just wouldn't go that far. They'd stop when they saw how hard it had been on me. That left Cole to be different.

Me: From the beginning?

Cole: Everything.

Me: Well. I haven't told anyone everything before… It began at the third trimester of grade eight. I had friends back then. When I was known as a 'Plain Jane'. I'd been looking forward to going to a high school party on the last day of school. Kyle Rogers, that's who ran the party, he was a senior and I hadn't even heard of him until then. Rachel, I mean Rachelle's older brother was invited to a huge high school party. He let us tag along. I never should've gone. It was a terrible idea.

I looked down, I couldn't take this could I? Things were hard and-

Cole: Melinda!

He grabbed my arms and looked at me with fear.

Cole: Are you okay? Melinda, stand up.

I wasn't standing? Had I fallen down, or maybe I fainted. Cole easily steadied me and looked completely oblivious.

Me: I'm fine. I guess I'm a little tired.

Cole: Well, maybe you could finish telling me that story in the truck.

I nodded. Even when I was sitting down I didn't want to finish though.

Me: When I got to the party everything was somewhat normal. I'd been to other parties, but this one was different. This one had high school boys and alcohol. I had always wanted to see what it tasted like, alcohol, and I admit I couldn't just have one glass. Then Andy Evans came up to me. He said I shouldn't be standing alone. I can't remember too many of the details, but he had asked me to dance and when it got late he brought back to the trees. It was all very standard, shirt up shorts down. All I could do at that point was to whisper for him to stop, say I should get back to my friends, say no, but he didn't listen.

Cole had started driving, but he signaled for me to go on. What else did he want to know? Maybe he wanted more detail. 'Andy covered my mouth, that could only whisper, with his right hand and completely misunderstood why I was hitting him.'

Me: When it was over I screamed, I could only muster up one terrifying shriek, but it helped. I was still scared and afraid though. I frantically looked for a phone. I didn't know what to do. My mind wasn't connecting what I was doing to what I was going to do. I called the cops and that earned me one slap in the face by my ex-best friend, several unsophisticated papers taped to my back, a years worth of mocking and glares, a ditch day, and my average grades gone down the toilet. Sometimes I still see the glares. Every time it gets worse, it's as if they're saying- 'Oh look, it's that stupid girl who couldn't protect herself, now look where she is'

I hadn't recalled when Cole had pulled into the company parking lot, but sure enough we were there and he didn't look like he was ready to go. I also had no idea what time it was, but I knew we were late.

Me: That's it.

Cole didn't say anything. Before he reached for his seatbelt he leaned over to my side of the truck and quickly pressed his lips against my forehead. That day I really must have been in deep thought, because I didn't remember being yelled at or lectured by our boss and the day went by so fast. It must've already been the end of the day when Cole asked me if I needed a ride home. I didn't have any other transportation available and my first option would probably be with Cole anyway.

Cole: So, you know what this means?

Me: Know what _what _means?

Cole: This means we're T.S.B.'s

Me: T.S.B.?

Cole: Tortured sole buddies.

Under no circumstances do I admit that I was a tortured sole, but oddly the name seemed fitting. T. S. B. There really is no other name for what we are though, is there? I could faintly hear a mellow song on the radio, which kept us both occupied until I had gotten out of Cole's truck and was back at home.

Well, I could sleep forever

But, it's of her I dream

If I could sleep forever

I could forget about everything

If I could sleep forever

If I could sleep forever

If I could sleep forever

The Dandy Warholes- Sleep

I couldn't focus on drawing so I decided that I might as well do the one thing every child looks forward to about summer. Television. My mother and father appeared to be busy doing bills of some sort. I could hear them muttering profanities under their breath whenever they needed to get to the kitchen. Lately they've been acting more concerned about me. Not exactly strict, but they no longer swear in front of me and I hardly ever see them _not _trying to hide something.

I hadn't been keeping track of the time, but I had noticed that the sun had already gone down. Then again, with it being summer and the sun going down much earlier, there was no way to tell if it was late or just dark. Then, something odd happened. Mom came storming out of the kitchen. I knew something bad was about to happen, but being me, I sat there like a deer in headlights.

Mom: Well then get your own job! Provide for your family!

Dad now came out from the kitchen and was quick to retort.

Dad: I can't take this anymore! I've been trying to get a job and the times are tough, jobs are hard to find!

Mom: Well, the times are only tough for you, haven't you noticed the Petrakis house?

Dad: Times are tough! Especially when men are confronted the very second their wives get home.

Mom: Oh, you're the one to be talking! You are not a man. Men don't play computer games all day.

I knew that I had better leave now. I didn't know if my parents noticed when I got up from the couch and shut the door to my room, but I didn't need to be in this conversation, well, physically. Mentally I was screaming at the top of my lungs for them to both shut up and be a happy family. So much for them trying to hide something. It was their own anger and narcissism that they had been protecting.

My portable radio was the only type of music I had, as if my family would have enough money to buy me a fancy ipod, so it wasn't out of character for me to switch it on and have the volume to the highest level.

Radio Announcer: Hope you're all having a wonderful Monday night. To get your evening straightened out here's a little song from Jimmy Eat The World.

heydon't write yourself off yetit's only in your head you feel left out or looked down onjust try your besttry everything you candon't you worry what they tell themselves when you're awayit just takes some timelittle girl, you're in the middle of the rideeverything everything will be just fineeverything everything will be all right, all righthey you know they're all the sameyou know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy inlive right nowjust be yourselfit doesn't matter if it's good enough, for someone elseit just takes some timelittle girl, you're in the middle of the rideeverything everything will be just fineeverything everything will be all right, all right (x2)hey - don't write yourself off yetit's only in your head you feel left out or looked down onjust do your bestdo everything you candon't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna sayit just takes some timelittle girl, you're in the middle of the rideeverything everything will be just fine, everything everything will be all right

Jimmy Eat The World- The Middle

At this point I only knew one thing. I needed my T.S.B.

**(Okay, if you like music, I know you do, I'd highly recommend listening to those songs. They're good, and just so you guys know. Here I am, two hours before I go to school, tracking down chapters. Hah, I don't mind, time is something I have too much of, now what am I going to say to my history teacher…peace\/love/\see ya**


	7. Chapter 7: Cole's Escape, Murder, Smoke

Chapter 7- Cole's Escape, Murder and Smoke

When I dropped from my window I could still hear the faint screams of my parents. Now they were on the subject of education, my education. I tried to tune it out as I walked down the road and past all the suburban homes.

Luckily, I came to my senses when I was about halfway to the auto place. What am I doing? I am walking down a road late at night and I don't even remember where that car place was. I knew it was past work and the school, but after that do I take a right or a left? I'm not even supposed to be out after dark, at least, I don't think I am. My parents weren't all that big on rules. No, I shouldn't be out here at this time. I have now set a rule for myself. Unless…my T.S.B. needs me too. I hadn't noticed that I was at the beginning of the long driveway until I had started pacing at it. Okay, final decision! I am going to go down there and see if Cole's here, if he is I stay, if he's not, I go. There was a dim light in the pole barn. If the door had not been open I never would've noticed it, but when I got closer I could see the whole inside of the building. There were tools hanging everywhere. Some on neat shelves, some on nails. There was only one car in the barn. I could only classify it as a modern Chevrolet, but I'm pretty sure that Cole could name every part inside the vehicle.

I didn't knock. Firstly, because I hadn't seen a door in the first place, and secondly, I didn't care about rules or being polite. When I was inside the building I couldn't believe how much more it held then it had appeared. Before it looked like there were tools everywhere, but now I could see that they actually were everywhere, even on the high ceiling. I couldn't even imagine how many mechanics would kill for a tool place like this. I traced the ceiling with my green-brown eyes and imagined what it would look like if I painted a picture of this.

Cole: Melinda!

Me: Huh? Oh, Cole! This place is even more amazing then I thought. There's equipment _everywhere_.

Cole: Thanks. What brings you down here?

Apparently Cole had been working with grease, he was completely covered with the globs of goop. I didn't know how to answer his question, I just stared at him for a moment. I could also see a cigarette in his mouth. He quickly stamped it into the dirt and waved away the smoke.

Cole: Alright. Well, if you want we can go somewhere. I don't know what's open at this time but-

Me: No, you shouldn't have to leave because of me, I just came to talk for a while, I guess.

Cole: You guess? Then I suppose you'll be helping me.

Me: Sure!

I didn't know why I sounded so enthused, I had never liked cars or being dirty for that matter, but tonight was different, like every other night for the past year.

Cole: So, parents can be terrible, even when they're still together.

Me: Apparently.

Cole: Could you hand me that wrench, it's the third one on the nail by the door.

I followed his directions and I actually understood. I quickly handed him the small wrench.

Cole: Thanks.

That night Cole and I just talked. Nothing special, I suppose, mostly about our parents. What normal T.S.B's talked about. I hadn't brought a watch, nor was there a clock in the barn, but I knew I should have left hours ago. The sun was already up and I was not the least bit tired. That night had been relaxing, and yet, exercise at the same time.

Cole: Oh shoot!

Me: What?

Cole: It's already five!

Me: Five! Five am!? I stayed out all night! My. Parents. Are. Going. To. Murder. Me. Brutally.

Cole: I didn't bring a car so I can't drop you off. My dad literally will kill me. I'd bring you home and explain if I could, but I really have to go.

That moment something kicked in, a sense of athleticism. I ran, I didn't care who saw me or how weird I looked to the people who were on their way to work. Cole had turned the opposite direction of me when we reached the end of the dirt driveway. I wasn't tired and I wasn't getting tired, for the minute I took advantage of my physicality. I couldn't stop, all I could think about was getting home, sneaking into my room and possibly getting away with everything.

As I approached the front door I knew something wasn't right. Mom's car was still in the driveway and all the lights in the house were on. This is going to be rough.

Mom: Melinda Sordino!

Dad: Get in here right now!

I slowly closed the door with a look that only my T.S.B. could have at this time. I squinted, waiting to get punished. Maybe they'd take away my computer privileges, as if I had any, or they could just make me quit my job that had obviously manipulated my brain.

Mom: Where were you?

I couldn't look up at her. I hadn't been disciplined all that much in the past, I hadn't needed it, an yet, it felt like this was normal.

Me: [mumbling] I was just in town.

Dad: Melinda, if you don't tell us the exact place you were this second you'll be here all summer, forbidden to any art classes.

No! I had saved up two hundred dollars just for those few classes. Manual labor and my life savings had helped with the cost of the classes. I was not going to let this happen. There was only one thing I could do. Be completely honest.

Me: I was just in town, I walked a while. Do you know how stressful this is?

Mom: You think you have stress!? Well, I'll be-

Me: [not giving a genuine crap of what anyone thinks] Yes, my life is stressful! I am an adolescent and I am forced to keep a job just so this family can pay the rent for this crappy house! We should just move into an apartment, then we'd get to have a personal buzzer. Cancel all vacations and totally get rid of the electricity!

I did not know what was happening, but I couldn't stop, like what had happened when I was running. I had to keep going, no matter what. When this was all over I'd be glad to be allowed back in this crappy house.

Me: If we got rid of the electricity then we just might have a chance at being a normal family that doesn't live at the computer or watches TV when they get home from their no profit business. Oh, and the glares, every time I walk down the sidewalk I am glared at in ways only child abusers and rapists should be looked at.

What was happening, I was unloading too much. All my feelings were coming out excessively,

Me: NO! This isn't over yet! I don't even know how you two had somehow been granted the right to produce a child with the money you had back then. Look at me, dad! You never look at me! It's like you're afraid I'm your daughter and if you could you'd probably trade me in, but at least the next kid you get won't be as screwed up as I am. I mean Andy's gone and the neighbors are finally starting to talk to you now, but I doubt it after tonight. Of course what has changed? You two have been fighting for months! I'm just joining into the lifelong fight! I should just go move in with Col-David, he understands me and everyone knows that you were ready to ask for a small donation to the 'stupid girl who got raped' charity. For your information, I am completely normal, or I was, until you people screwed it up.

They were speechless. I could tell, dad looked like he was about to faint and mom couldn't process anything I'd just said.

Me: And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for work, because we all know who's keeping this family alive!

I stormed up to my room and didn't care about anything. Somehow I had forgotten to do the laundry and my uniform was still in the dirty clothes hamper. Fine! Screw it all! I grabbed the shirt, pants and tie and put them on without a second thought. Before I knew it my feet were running, again, and I couldn't stop, again.

Boss: You're late.

Me: I don't give a crap.

I angrily approached the outside break area. I had to calm myself down. If I kept going like this I'd get an ulcer. I could see two other employees on break. They shrugged at me and one handed over a cigarette. Right after that they went back inside.

For a moment I looked at the nicotine filled lung disease plea. I always overanalyzed things, it was how I thought. I'd over think this and I would completely change my mind. I knew what I needed. I needed to calm down. I remembered a bit of knowledge from a report in the sixth grade -nicotine has been known to kill, but acts as a stimulator- besides everyone smoked. Mom, Cole, those guys that were just here. Luckily there was still a lighter outside. I wouldn't want to go across the street to the gas station to buy matches.

My hands were on the verge of trembling, possibly from the cold, or the fact that I was just about to light a cigarette. I could die from this. Nicotine has killed. My thumb flicked trigger. A small flame appeared. I stared at the lighter, then, the cigarette laying on a nearby table.

Cole appeared in front of me. He picked up the cigarette and lit it. I was half expecting he'd take it away and use it for himself, but then, he handed it to me. I looked at him for an awkward moment. It was the way he stared at me that made me grab the nicotine substance. His eyes were unmoving. I couldn't compare that stare to anything. It wasn't mean, but I could barely tolerate it. Sounds like something Andrew Kaman would invent.

I pushed the cigarette to my lips. Why am I even doing this? Peer pressure sucks. Now I'm over thinking things again. Just ignore everything. It was easy to take a drag, I've seen my mother do it millions of times. I wasn't surprised how good it felt, but I was surprised how fast I'd finished it. I closed my eyes tightly.

Cole: What's wrong Melinda.

Me:

Cole: It's okay. Smoking isn't that bad.

Me: Cole, it is bad, it's very bad. Millions of people die from it and death is not okay. I know all that, but I think I like it. And smoking works. It calms me, but it's still a terrible thing.

Cole: Oh, Melinda. Smoking isn't a terrible thing if it helps you. It helps both of us.

I couldn't say anything else. I needed to think. Unless thinking would just have me end up absolutely nowhere, which it usually did. I over think thinking. Ugh. Cole led me into work and told me to take it easy, cleaning windows and sweeping floors. Luckily, I was able to avoid our boss. I kept my head down for the remainder of the day.

Cole: Do you need a ride home Mel?

Me: [mumbling] I suppose.

Cole wasn't happy, but somehow he took on the same emotion I had and kept quiet the whole ride home. As a goodbye Cole gave a short, quick wave and drove off. The moment I entered my house I knew something was wrong. Mom was standing in front of the TV and Dad was blocking the hallway. I was trapped.

**(Okay, well, I don't really have much to say. Sorry, David has been forgotten. So now he has been completely deleted from the story. Kidding! Just making sure you're still alive and that this chapter didn't put you to sleep. David will be back…sometime…peace/\love\/see ya**


	8. Chapter 8: Animals and Movies

Chapter 8- Animals and Movies

Of all moments in my life now was the time the batman theme song popped into my head. At first conclusion, Mom and Dad were the villains, I was the damsel in distress, Cole was Batman and David was Robin. Cole and David working together to save me, unlikely, but plausible. David was so different from Cole. They lived on opposite sides of the track, I could barely see them in unison. It was also hard to imagine Cole, the neighborhood bad boy, as the ultimate hero, but he was strong enough and with his black hair he looked somewhat like the actual Batman. Plus, seeing Cole as a Robin, a sidekick, almost made me chuckle. David had certain qualities that fit for Batman, like the clean record with authorities and in general being the 'good guy', but I just couldn't muster up an almighty David. So, now it was set. Mom and Dad were evil, Cole and David would work together to save me from my sinister guardians and I was completely insane for concocting this conclusion.

Mom: You had no right to act like you did this morning.

Me:

Dad: Yeah.

Me:

Mom: We've decided to go back to see doctor Andrew Kaman again.

Dad: Yeah.

Me:

Mom: As a family.

Me:

Dad: Huh?

Mom: This whole family is screwed up.

Gee Mom, thanks for admitting the obvious, I mean, even Kaman could've diagnosed that, and could you please not call him Andrew? Don't even say he's a doctor. It's a terrible thing to think that just maybe, David would become a Kaman. Ewe.

Dad: Well now. I don't think we _all_ need to go to this shrink.

Gee Dad, thanks for having my back. Now I'll die alone in therapy.

Mom: We're all going at eight am tomorrow. Final decision.

Me:

Dad: [sarcasm] Great.

On cue the phone rang. Mom stormed off and Dad walked to the computer.

Me: Hello?

David: Melinda!

Me: Uh, hi Rob- David.

Gladly, David hadn't noticed that I almost called him Robin. He seemed somewhat rushed and nervous. Maybe he was going to break up with me. Well, we had technically only been on one date, but if he was ending this then, there definitely wouldn't be a change to actually become a couple. I switched the phone to my other hand.

David: Mel, I was wondering- well, I haven't seen you for a while. How are things going? I mean, um. Want to go see a movie tonight?

Me: You're asking me to go to a movie?

David: Well, I understand if you have homework to finish up or a picture that needs to be painted. Wait, no. It's summer. You wouldn't have schoolwork. Unless you're in summer school. Are you? Never mind. It's none of my business. I jus-

Me: I'd love to.

No one would notice if I just snuck out for a little while. I mean the odds were Dad wouldn't even get up from the computer and Mom, well, Mom would need smokes. Maybe I needed some cigarettes. No. Not tonight.

I picked up a few loose dollars on my dresser, for an emergency. I grabbed my light coat and headed outside. It amazed me how cold the summers got in the Midwest. Even as I practically slammed the door no one noticed my disappearance. I didn't care when or how David got here, I needed to get out. Soon enough David arrived in his fancy jeep. At first I couldn't see anyone in the passenger seat, but when the jeep halted where I stood it was clear, there was a man with hair similar to David's with a small build. He was dressed in a formal outfit and looked like…well, nothing. No emotions at all, at least none that were readable.

I climbed into the backseat and waited to be introduced. This couldn't have been David's uncle, who owned his own lab, because of the way he looked. He just didn't fit the characteristics, he might've been David's dad, he would pass as a doctor. Maybe it was his cousin, but he would've had to come here from Europe and that's definitely too much effort for a ride to the movies.

Mystery Man: [muffled voice] I'm David's father.

Me: Hi.

I tried to sound confident, but I probably came off as ostentatious of myself. Great first impression. At least David's Dad was really different from his Mom. David's dad could just sit and do nothing while David nervously talked about some kind of hypothesis of a cure for the common cold. I had almost fallen asleep when we got to the theater, David has his true rambling fits.

When we walked into the movie theater I felt crowded. There were vigorous lines that never seemed to end, and the worst part, every occupant of every line was staring at me. Even if they didn't mean to they did, no one could help it. They thought I was some kind of idiotic animal that isn't civilized enough to be among humans. Well, this idiotic animal was going to show all the dimwitted humans off. The animal was going to act normally and ignore the stares, try to prevent misconduct, be polite and stay with David.

I can't escape this hellSo many times I've triedBut I'm still caged insideSomebody get me through this nightmareI can't control myselfSo what if you can see the darkest side of me?No one will ever change this animal I have becomeHelp me believe it's not the real meSomebody help me tame this animal(This animal, this animal)I can't escape myself(I can't escape myself)So many times I've lied(So many times I've lied)But there's still rage insideSomebody get me through this nightmareI can't control myselfSo what if you can see the darkest side of me?No one will ever change this animal I have becomeHelp me believe it's not the real meSomebody help me tame this animal I have becomeHelp me believe it's not the real meSomebody help me tame this animal Somebody help me through this nightmareI can't control myselfSomebody wake me from this nightmareI can't escape this hell(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)So what if you can see the darkest side of me?No one will ever change this animal I have becomeHelp me believe it's not the real meSomebody help me tame this animal I have becomeHelp me believe it's not the real meSomebody help me tame this animal (This animal I have become)

Three Days Grace- Animal I Have Become

I stayed beside David while he purchased the tickets and I politely nodded to anyone who looked in my direction. I spoke up when I wanted to get popcorn and thanked the cashier. By the time David and I got into the theater I could no longer feel the unnerving stares. Possibly because when the lights dimmed people could no longer see me, possibly because everyone had just given up, either way it was peaceful for two hours. Only two hours. The movie was nice and I was able to focus on everything. The plot, dialogue, character transformations, even the little details. Too bad my concentration dissolved after those two hours.

Random Adult: Melinda! How are you? are you okay?

Kid From School: Dude, I am so sorry for Andy.

Cashier: Melinda, I feel your pain!

David: Maybe we should go.

Me:

How many people went to see a movie at five pm? Even more important, how many people needed to crowd me before they were assured that I was an animal? I hadn't notice I was in David's truck until he drove out of the movie theaters parking lot, across the road, and over to the Nike store. David's Dad got out of the truck and went into the store. Somehow David had transferred from the front seat to the backseat so he was now sitting inches away from me.

David: Dad said he needed to go here yesterday for some hospital approved footwear. I thought it wouldn't be a problem to do an errand before you went home. Unless you didn't want to go home, we could go somewhere else if you'd like.

Me: David, I'm content right here.

David: Do you hear that? I think it's a radio.

Me: Yeah. It is a radio, I think it's from the Nike store. I like the song that's playing.

It was true, the song I heard wasn't adrenaline based and had a very good beat. Maybe I'd go home and search for this station. Then, David spoke suddenly.

David: This should be our song. It really fits our relationship, I think.

It fits our relationship? No doubt about it, David was nervous. Somehow, for once, this came easily. I leaned over to David and gently kissed him.

_The winter's marked the earthit's floored with frozen glassyou slip into my armsand you quickly correct yourselfyour freezing speech bubblesseem to hold your words aloftI want the smoky clouds of laughterto swim about me forever more(Chorus)I will race you to the watersideand from the edge of Ireland shout out loudso they could hear it in Americait's all for youthe shells crack under our shoeslike punctuation pointsthe planets bend between usand a hundred million suns and starsthe sea filled in the silencebefore you said those wordsand now even in the darknessI can see how happy you are(Chorus)I will race you to the watersideand from the edge of Ireland shout out loudso they could hear it in Americait's all for you(5x)it's all for you _

Snow Patrol- The Planets Bend Between Us

Soon, David's father returned and drove us home. David's hand had gently grabbed mine shortly after the vehicle restarted. I couldn't focus very well after I left David, but I knew it would be best to keep a low profile when I got inside my house.

Although the lights were out I was still cautious as I crept up the stairs. I took a brave peak toward my parents room. They were sound asleep. Good. I went straight to my ancient radio and found the station that had been playing at the Nike store. Even though David and my song didn't play, I had no trouble finding sleep.

**(Well, there isn't much to say. I'm tired and this chapter explains itself. Goodnight. Peace/\love\/see ya!**


	9. Chapter 9: Metal Deposit Kaman Must Die

Chapter 9- Metal Deposit/ Kaman Must Die

That morning was one of the worst I've ever had from the start. I got to wake up at four o'clock in the morning to a raspy rooster. Since that raspy beast was the worst form of an energizer bunny he kept rasping and rasping and rasping and rasping. Therefore, I rolled out of bed and stumbled downstairs to find a pair of earmuffs. Only then did I find out we were so poor we sold our only earmuffs in a garage sale years ago. I gave up my search and decided to eat some cereal. Comfort food is always the solution.

When I opened the box of Cap 'n' Crunch the bottom fell out, leaving me to hold and empty box. I examined the mess. A hundred yellow pieces of pure cornstarch. I kicked all the ones I could find into a corner. Where they wouldn't be seen for years due to my family's lack of cleanliness. I shrugged and trounced to the television. Too bad the only things on at four in the morning were product endorsers.

'This vacuum is for YOU!'

'Try our new paperclip, invented by a navy seal!'

'Who can live without a custom made doghouse? Only a hundred and ten dollars!'

I turned the television off and scouted food. In the end I was content with a few graham crackers. When I was done with my feast I could barely hear the rumble of an engine over the raspy rooster. I knew exactly who it was. I forced my lazy feet up the stairs and got dressed quickly. By the time I'd gotten down the stairs again I could hear three faint knocks on our door. When I opened the door I was partially out of breath.

Me: Hello.

Cole: Hi. Why are you wearing regular clothes? Don't you have to go to work today?

Me: Well, my parents are keeping me home today…we have plans at eight.

Cole: I'm sorry to interrupt, but would you care to come with me on a treacherous journey to the metal deposit center for a little while?

Me: How long will it take?

Cole: Not that long, maybe only half an hour.

I heard my mom stumble into the kitchen counter.

Mom: Melinda Sordino! What have you done to the floor!

I smiled at Cole and scribbled on a post it that I would be back soon and taped it to the door.

Me: Let's go.

He wasn't hesitant. We were out of the driveway in seconds and I watched Cole drive all the way to the metal deposit never taking a moment to look at the scenery. Somehow the ride wasn't long. I wished it would've lasted longer in some ways. Cole's truck halted at the gates to the deposit. I could tell the gates weren't meant to be opened, they probably hadn't been opened in years considering the rusted locks tying the gates together. I gave Cole a questioning glance.

Cole: It'll be alright. Here.

He handed me a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. I wasn't feeling too stressed, but I could use a smoke. I quickly lit up and put the cigarette in my mouth. It was getting easier. I tossed Cole his items and followed him to the gate. Cole lifted me up and gently set me down so I was perched on the fence. He easily jumped the barrier and helped me over. I let out a puff of smoke and asked Cole what we were doing.

Cole: Sometimes I come here and just 'borrow' some metal. It's very useful when its melted down and reformed.

Me: By borrow you mean…

Cole: I intend to return everything I've used. Don't worry, every single thing I've borrowed will be in my will.

I chuckled helplessly. Cole got right to work, sifting through various metals. I slowly walked behind him and tried to mimic his actions. I'd stop and ponder over one particular piece and then walk away. It was quite entertaining once you got the hand of it. I hadn't known how much time passed, but suddenly Cole muttered something incoherent.

Me: What? Did I do something wrong?

Cole: No, it's not you. I lost track of time. You should've been home by now.

I shrugged. I didn't care if we had to cancel out meeting with Kaman, but I'd probably get lectured for an hour or so when I returned…If I returned. No. How could I even think like that? My family sucks, so what? Caleb's is much worse off. My family hasn't resorted to violence or threats, we're trying to work together. Whether that be Mom confiding in a therapist or me smoking, but we're trying. Knowing what Caleb had gone through made my stomach sick. He'd been beaten down so many times and this was still happening. I'd seen a large bruise on his arm while he was driving earlier. I forced myself to look out the window and stop thinking.

_People killin', people dyin' Children hurt and you hear them cryin' Can you practice what you preach And would you turn the other cheek Father, Father, Father help us Send some guidance from above 'Cause people got me, got me questionin' Where is the love (Love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love (The love) Where is the love, the love, the love? _

_Black eyed peas- where is the love? _

Then, we were at my house. Cole offered to explain to my parents where I had been, but I forbid him to leave the vehicle. I watched as he drove away. My cigarette got stamped into the ground and I walked into my house where certain death lurked. Why am I so afraid to enter my own house lately?

My parents were smiling and sitting on the family couch when I entered. Had the anger flowed out of them and they'd been so worried about me that they forgave me and could only feel love at this moment? In. My. Dreams.

Mom: We're going right now.

That fake smile was still froze to her face. She stood up, along with my father, and walked me to the family car. My hands were over my ears, I couldn't stand the silence, it was maddening. I admit I was almost happy to hear the elevator music playing in the mall. Almost.

'Why, hello Melinda!' That evil abomination cheered. I took each step slowly with my back shrugged and my head down. When I entered the room I saw my parents sitting in two fold up chairs against the wall, which left the one large chair across from Kaman's desk where I had sat before. Great, this was about me. My mind droned on while my parents elaborated everything and in return received a few subtle head nods. That moment I wanted to march up to the main desk in the waiting room and demand a refund, because face it, who can afford to tell a stranger their problems for thousands of dollars and no answers?

Kaman: Melinda!

Me: [whisper] Yes.

Kaman: Care to answer the question?

Me: No.

Mom: You can't just say no!

Dad: Ugh.

Kaman: Now, now. Settle. This is a trustworthy environment and if Melinda does not want to trust me with her feelings she doesn't have to. This is a free place. I can only encourage people to let it out.

Jeez! What the heck! Where was all this crap coming from? A soap opera! If anyone bought this they were complete fools. Sure enough, my parents were nodding solemnly. Okay, this had to stop.

Me: That's a ton of bull-

Mom: Melinda!

Me: Who cares, I've heard enough of your colorful vocabulary to teach me when and how to use it. Believe it or not I am a young adult and at this point nothing can stop me from moving out and escaping to some kind of art institute!

Mom laughed. Dad's eyes widened. Kaman looked impressed.

Mom: Go! Leave right now.

I took a deep breath and stood up. This had to be profound.

Me: Mom, I cannot believe this. You were always the one to keep things balanced or at least pay for the food, but now that you're on this whole therapist thing we have absolutely NO money at all! This helps no one. Dad just sits around like frozen putty and I have no point in this. If this is about the eighth grade, you should know I had to deal with everything alone. I am doing better…well, I was, until Kaman some into my life. Oh, and dear Doctor ANDREW Kaman, you aren't even worth an insult!

I stormed out of the office with rage. Then, took a long and proud stride to the main hall. Instantly it hit me. First tears began to fall and then Dad came running to me. I wasn't aware that I'd fallen down until he had picked me up. Instead of throwing me down and threatening to lock me in my room like an infant he plainly set me down and spoke softly.

Dad: You need a break from everything. I understand. I'm not good at this sort of thing, but here.

I was handed ten dollars and a folded note. My eyes were still streaming. He approved of this. He was allowing me to run away. Though the ten dollars wouldn't get me far, it was still something. I gave him a bear hug and jogged outside. The last thing I saw of him was the movement towards the town doughnut shop. I smiled. We used to get doughnuts when we had nothing better to do. There was nothing like a powder white form of dough to end a day.

I turned to face the mall, took a few steps back and saw the room. The very room I'd just stormed out of. The blinds were open to the city exhaust and I could see everything clearly. Silently, but clearly.

At first my mother looked worried, or maybe afraid. The next thing visible from the window was Kaman. He suddenly crushed himself into my mother. He wasn't hugging her he was… I quickly turned around. All of a sudden everything blurred together. Nothing seemed right. My eyes averted themselves rapidly from every object they set upon. My feet kicked in and I was running. People were staring at me. I didn't care. They already thought wrong of me. Might as well confirm their guesses. I was helpless.

Before I knew it I was in front of 'Small Fry'. I burst through the doors the same way I had at the mall. I searched for Cole and found him out back. There was a pack of smokes in his hands, but his mouth was empty. I shut the back door and ran to him.

Cole: Melinda, what are you doing here? Did your family thing-

I cut him off.

Me: Let me.

My hands reached behind his head and I thrust myself at him. He responded immediately to my actions. He was on his feet now and his hands ran up ad down my back. There wasn't any space between our bodies. This was what I needed. My mind needed a break away from everything and this was the answer, Cole. My hands slowly moved down, but when they reached the small of his back he stopped me.

Cole: I can't do this Melinda.

Me: Why not?

Cole: I just can't. Not now.

First, my head fell, then, my body.

_I have felt for sure last night That once we said goodbye No one else will know these lonely dreams No one else will know that part of me I'm still driving away And I'm sorry every day I won't always love these selfish things I won't always live... Not stopping... It was my turn to decide I knew this was our time No one else will have me like you do No one else will have me, only you You'll sit alone forever If you wait for the right time What are you hoping for? I'm here I'm now I'm ready Holding on tight Don't give away the end The one thing that stays mine Amazing still it seems I'll be 23 I won't always love what I'll never have I won't always live in my regrets You'll sit alone forever If you wait for the right time What are you hoping for? I'm here I'm now I'm ready Holding on tight Don't give away the end The one thing that stays mine You'll sit alone forever If you wait for the right time What are you hoping for? I'm here I'm now I'm ready Holding on tight Don't give away the end The one thing that stays mine... _

Jimmy eat the world-23

**(Whoa! Okay, if you guys didn't think there was emotion in the chapter you are all robots. Sorry for it's long wait and its short length, but I really like this chapter, I have no idea why, maybe because I really like the music I was listening to while I was writing this… anyway… oh yeah, and you guys should know I wrote this fresh, took me a while but I finished and I like it. Never would've expected Mom to hook up with Kaman did you? Well, that's me, randomness…peace/\love\/see ya!**


	10. Chapter 10: Home?

Chapter 10- Home?

I woke up in Cole's arms. The first thing I saw was his face covered with worry.

Cole: I thought I gave you a heart attack.

Normally I would have laughed at the phrase, but this wasn't meant to be a joke and I certainly wasn't up to laughing. I tried to pick out images. There was Cole and old tables. I was still at work. We were alone, like before, and something made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe being held in such an awkward position. I was sprawled across Cole's lap and my hands were clutching each other behind his neck, in fear I'd loose balance and fall. Or maybe it could be the rejection. I looked up at him, me eyes were watering. There were too many things that caused this to mention, so I couldn't conclude more.

Me: I need a place to go. To stay. For a few days…maybe more.

My voice broke while speaking the last sentence. Cole looked at me sadly. There was more pity in his eyes then I could imagine. He forced himself to look away. He was going to say something hard, I could tell. The way his chin firmed meant that he couldn't bare something. I wished that he'd just take me away. To a foster home, maybe. I probably didn't have the qualifications for that sort of thing, but I needed to get away.

Cole: T.S.B. I can't let you come to my place. It's not safe. I wouldn't hurt you.

Me: I know. I thought that you might know about somewhere that I could go. Do you know about any homes?

Cole: Melinda! No! Don't you dare say that! I would never let you go to a home. Never! You aren't going to leave me. You aren't. You aren't. You aren't. You can't leave me! No! You're not going-

Me: Cole, I won't leave you. Not if I have a choice, but I do need somewhere to stay. I'm not welcome at home.

Cole: There's always the auto place. I'm sure that you'd be able to stay there safely. I'll take you there right now if you want.

Me: Thank you Cole. Thank you so much! You're going to have to postpone that drive for a few minutes though. You're going to want to come with me.

I grabbed Cole's hand, pulled him through the backdoor and stared intently at our boss until I was close enough to speak to him. He wasn't going to expect this. Cole stayed back a ways while I kept enclosing the space between my target and me. Once I was in reach of the boss I smacked the clipboard out of his now unsteady hands.

Boss: What the heck! You're not supposed to be here miss Sordino. If someone says they're going to be gone that's what I expect. Now, go pick that up!

Me: [mockingly] What are you going to do if I don't? Dock my pay? Fire me? Well, I quit! You are an evil man that wears too tight clothing and needs to get a hobby. Maybe golf would suit a man your age. As far as your managing goes, you suck! I'm sorry I don't exactly have a great vocabulary for this but you treat everyone like crap. I'm amazed your bitterness doesn't rot the potatoes. Oh, and- clean your own dang toilets!

He looked confused at first, but then I saw a vein pop out of his neck and he began to turn colors. Now was the time to leave. Cole looked amazed. The only thing he could do was escort me to his car and smile.

Me: So, what did you think of that?

Cole: [smirking] I never knew something so innocent could hate so much.

Me: What would you say if I weren't so innocent after all?

Cole: I'd tell you that danger is intriguing.

Me: What about if I said-

Cole: No. The first rule to danger is to limit questions, you wouldn't want to disclose too many facts about yourself. Second, look evil at all times. Third, never trust anyone.

Me: Whatever you say, Batman.

We both chuckled, but I deserved to chuckle more at my own pathetic joke. Considering I had though of this days prior. The poll barn looked homey. I easily picked a wall and leaned against it.

Cole: The owner is conveniently on vacation this week, so you're safe for now. Is there anything you want?

I sighed. My mind had already gone over what I wanted, but I'd have a very hard time getting anything I wanted, I'd just have to settle for what I needed. I could go without the basics- toothbrush, soap, blankets.

Me: I'd need a change of clothes. Maybe breakfast tomorrow. Otherwise I think I'll be fine.

Cole: I can get you clothes, but they might have to be a few of mine. I don't recall Cynthia leaving any clothes behind. I don't know if I can bring you breakfast tomorrow, but I'll bring lunch, okay?

I nodded. Cole was a saint. A saint surrounded by demons.

Cole: I'll be back tonight.

Before his departure, he leaned in and gently kissed my forehead.

Me: Thank you, Cole.

It wasn't hard to entertain myself while Cole was gone, I started by memorizing the various tools on the walls. Once my brain started to hurt I walked outside to see every one of the five hundred and thirteen cars. Through all of this, I got very exhausted. I took a very quick nap and when Cole found me I was laying down and staring at the early stars.

Cole: Beautiful, aren't they?

Me: Yeah, I'd never be able to see them at my house. Out here it's so quiet and separated. I like it.

Cole: That's a very good thing.

Cole handed me a bag. I immediately searched through it. There were a few t-shirts and shorts. I could also see a blanket. Cole was a wonderful saint.

Cole: I'll stay here for the night if you want me to. I'm not looking forward to going home tonight.

I didn't pause a second.

Me: Please stay!

Despite the time I was incredibly tired and I needed sleep desperately. I laid on the hard floor and covered up in the blanket. Soon, I noticed that Cole was hovering over me. The least I could do was share covers with him. The last thing I remembered were Cole's hands around me and then sleep clouded my vision and despite everything, I was smiling.

In the morning I could tell Cole was gone. My body was cold and I stood up, still huddled in the blanket. There was a piece of paper by the door. My hands picked the paper up and began to read the note that had been from Cole, no doubt.

_Mel-_

_I'm so sorry. I can't do this. I'm going to try and catch a rid up to the cities and maybe I'll get into a home. I can't stand living like this anymore. I advise you go home to your parents and apologize. Whatever they've done I'm sure they are sorry for it. I've only caused you harm Melinda. I am very sorry for that. Smoking is bad and you should give it up. I don't know if I'll ever see you again, but maybe that'll be good. I'm a terrible influence. You're probably where you are now because of me. I hope things work out for you. I care. Melinda- you and I are very different people. You're too good for me. Stay with your boyfriend…Petrakis. Go home. Start drawing again. Get a new job. Don't let me ruin you any more. I care for you Melinda, I care._

_T.S.B. Cole~_

**(WOWO! Short chapter, so many things happen! Tune in for more! Things will explain themselves later… but until then…peace\/love/\see ya!**


	11. Chapter 11: The Aftermath

The lines meant little to me. The lines were incomprehensible and at the same time, heartbreaking to me. My pulse is racing, my mind searching for answers. I need answers, I need someone to translate this note, tell me what it really means. Explain to me the reasons why Cole hates me, why he wants me to drop everything I've been building up all this time. Most of all, I need to see Cole.

Tears freely rolled down my face and I couldn't think of anything at all at first. I fell to my knees and covered my face while clenching my last memory of Cole. I sobbed so loud I didn't care who heard or who cared. My heart cracked, I felt it. I hugged the note, knowing it was the last communication I would ever have with Cole. I screamed through my sobs and knelt ever more so I was practically in a tornado position.

Me: Why? Why did you have to go?

I hadn't realized I was screaming to the point of hearing my own voice echo until I stopped for an unsteady hysterical breath.

Me: You never cared! You were my everything and you took yourself away!

I sniffled once and focused on breathing which was getting harder every second. There had to be a medical term for this, I was going to die. While trying to get my breath back I changed clothes, which I then realized made me smell like Cole. I broke into sobs again and took me more then a little while to calm down. It was only when I could speak when I whispered.

Me: I can't do this on my own.

_You've stripped me down, the layers fall like rain.  
Its over now, just innocence and instinct still remain.  
You watched me while I slowly disappeared.  
I reached for you to save me; you were frozen in your fear._

(4x) Take it all away

Circling the pain inside my soul  
I reached inside  
your silence to steal what you wont show  
I tried to find the answers in my fears  
But what was found is lost again as soon as it appeared

(4x) Take it all away

I'm breaking; I can't do this on my own  
Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?

(10x) You take away

Take it All Away: Red

David: It will be okay, things will clear up. I promise Melinda.

I took a step backwards. He couldn't have been serious. Things couldn't clear up. Cole was gone. He wasn't going to come back and I felt like nothing. I felt nonexistent. I wanted to die. With tears still running down my face I looked at David for the first time since I had gotten to his house. My voice barely rose above a whisper and was so uneven I was shaking.

Me: How can you say that? There is no way I will ever see Cole again.

He took a step towards me, his eyes slightly reddening. His tone was even.

David: Melinda… I love you, more than you can know.

Me: No, David-

David: Stop Melinda! Just stop. I love you. I have for a while now. I'm telling you this because you don't seem to realize it. Melinda, we have a thing, we're dating. I don't know how long you've been seeing this Cole guy, but I can understand. Because I love you so much, I'm going to get you through this. You have to understand that we are together Melinda. You're in _my_ sunroom wanting _me_ to soothe you. I will always be here for you, always, but you can't do this to me. You can't just fall in love with some other guy. It's not-

Before he could finish his sentence I forced him into a hug. I needed someone to just be there and David was that person. I didn't need words, I needed contact. He hugged me back, tightly. So tightly I could feel his tears on my shoulder. This was the most intimate embrace we had ever been in and we were both sobbing uncontrollably.

After I had calmed down enough to stop crying I broke our hug and brought my hands to his face and forced his to look at me.

Me: David, I love you.

David nodded and gave me a small smirk.

David: Thank you. I'm glad to know the feeling is mutual.

For the rest of the day I stayed with David, never letting him get too far away from me. If I started to feel that pain in my chest I would clutch David and cry into him until I felt better. Though I had stayed at David's all day I wasn't prepared to leave yet.

Me: David, can I stay here tonight?

My question didn't impede him.

David: Of course. You know we have guest rooms.

Me: that's not what I meant… I don't want to leave you David. Can I just sleep in your room with you tonight? I don't know what would-

He then picked me up and carried me bridal style to his room.

David: You are always welcome in my room.

I smiled a little for the first time today. I was welcome here.

It was getting late and I was about to fall unconscious. After realizing if I fell asleep in what I was wearing I'd be very uncomfortable when I woke up I looked at David. I couldn't wear these clothes tonight and I wasn't going to borrow any of my… boyfriends. It wouldn't feel right. I abruptly took a few steps in front of David and looked at him unsurely. Before he could figure out what I was doing I held the bottom hem of my borrowed shirt and hesitated only a moment before pulling it off.

David immediately turned around.

David: What are you doing Melinda.

The way he said the statement didn't seem like a question, more like a subtle demand.

Me: You said you loved me. I love you too David. I also loved Cole. These clothes are his. Now that he's gone I think it's best to not wear them. Before you tell me to take some of your clothes I'm going to insist that it wouldn't feel right. Please David, just let me let go.

After I had finished my ill prepared speech David, still facing away from me spoke.

David: I understand Melinda.

Just as he turned around he saw me trying to get my pants off and when I looked at him I could have sworn he was going to faint. The baggy pants easily fell and I slowly walked over to David, unsure what was and wasn't okay. Standing inches away from him, I could hear his heart beating.

I knew I was blushing, whether it was from my royal blue matching underwear which oddly fit the mood, or because I was supposed to be the confident one in this situation.

It was quick. He pressed his lips to mine and there was no stopping. Soon kissing turned to kissing with tongue and a tear rolled down my face. I didn't know why I was crying but David knew it wasn't him. I needed to have more. I pressed myself closer to him, hoping to feel any emotion other than sadness. I soon grew impatient with David, grabbed his hand, and pressed it to my chest.

It was a bit obvious that he hadn't been to second base before, but I let him do what he wanted. It didn't seem to take him long to figure out how things were supposed to go. I let out a soft moan to let him know he was on the right track and reached behind me to unclip my bra.

David stopped abruptly and grabbed my hands. I looked up at him with a pleading look. He knew I wanted this but by the way he looked at me I knew he wasn't going to let me get too far for his taste. When he spoke his voice differed from his look, his words were deep and full of lust.

David: Melinda, I want this, believe me. I love you, but I don't want you to do anything without meaning it. It feels like you're only doing this to forget.

I said nothing, mostly because I felt words were at a loss in this moment. I only looked away from him and sat on his bed. The fact was that this wasn't the right place or time. I sighed and looked up at him as if to say 'I'm sorry'. When he left to go to the bathroom I decided to get comfy and before I could see him get back I fell asleep.

_For those days we felt like a mistake,  
Those times when loves what you hate,  
Somehow,  
We keep marching on._

For those nights when I couldn't be there,  
I've made it harder to know that you know,  
That somehow,  
We'll keep moving on.

There's so many wars we fought,  
There's so many things were not,  
But with what we have,  
I promise you that,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,  
There isn't a flag I'd wave,  
Don't care if we bend,  
I'd sink us to swim,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

For those doubts that swirl all around us,  
For those lives that tear at the seams,  
We know,  
We're not what we've seen,

For this dance we'll move with each other.  
There ain't no other step than one foot,  
Right in front of the other.

There's so many wars we fought,  
There's so many things we're not,  
But with what we have,  
I promise you that,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

For all of the plans we've made,  
There isn't a flag I'd wave,  
Don't care if we bend,  
I'd sink us to swim,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right,  
We're marching on.

We'll have the days we break,  
And we'll have the scars to prove it,  
We'll have the bonds that we save,  
But we'll have the heart not to lose it.

For all of the times we've stopped,  
For all of the things I'm not.

We put one foot in front of the other,  
We move like we ain't got no other,  
We go when we go,  
We're marching on.

There's so many wars we fought,  
There's so many things we're not,  
But with what we have,  
I promise you that,  
We're marching on,  
(We're marching on)  
(We're marching on).

Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right, right, left, right,  
Right, right,  
We're marching on.

Right, right, right, right left right,  
Right, right, right, left, right,  
Right, right,  
We're marching on.

_Marching on: One Republic_

I woke up at seven without an alarm clock, just a habit I suppose. David's hand was resting on my stomach and he was quietly snoring. I felt a migraine coming on, like a hangover, but I only wished yesterday had been a drunken hallucination. When I started to think about what had happened yesterday I quickly pushed my thoughts away. I slowly moved David's hand and got out of bed.

It was coming back to me. Yesterday was a mistake. My heart lurched; it was coming back to me. With my unsteady heart beat it was only a matter of time before I was sobbing and sprawled across the floor. I tried to take even breaths. I closed my eyes and the minute I did so I saw his face and burst into tears.

I didn't want David to see me; I didn't want him like I did yesterday. I covered my face with my hands and tried to be as quiet as I could. It didn't work because a few moments later I heard steps coming down the hall. As of now there's only one thing logical to do; hide. I went to the closet. The steps got louder and my sobbing went silent. As the door opened, I was getting situated.

Cindy: Davey! Breakfast is ready.

The mere mention of food made my stomach rumble.

David made a sniffling sound and sat up.

David: Okay mom. I'll come down soon.

He spoke as if nothing happened last night, as if he didn't mean what he said. It was at this moment that I realized how wrong this all was. I was not supposed to be hiding in a closet, or spending the night with boys. This was all wrong…


End file.
